Thoughts on Advocacy

I recently had to come to terms with a friend whom I thought was an ally but learned was simply tolerant of my sexual orientation (and slightly less than that when it comes to gender identity.) This came about when I had an intense argument with my parents in her presence, then left once it got too offensive for me to handle. She didn’t follow me, choosing instead to remain in the room and chat with my parents.

I explained to her as best I could that she couldn’t call herself my ally if she wasn’t truly on my side. She asked for some time to think about whose side she was on.

Guess we’ll see what happens there.

But all this got me thinking, what do people think it means to be an ally? My roommate has let me know that she “doesn’t care” that I like women, but what exactly is that supposed to mean to me? “Gee, thanks for not despising my existence,” I could say, but why pat someone on the back for just being okay enough with something to not hate it?

"Congratulations, you are not a massive douchebag. Have a gold star."

The way I see it, you are not an ally unless you are willing to ally yourself with someone. You aren’t an advocate until you’re willing to advocate. There are many ways to measure this advocacy, but the most important in everyday life is that of simply standing up for what you believe in.

The people who hate are plenty outspoken in their hatred. But the people who supposedly care are being silent…and that’s hurting our civil liberties. To those who believe that consoling their LGBT friends after they’ve been knocked down by those who despise them is enough, I have this to say: to stand idly by and say nothing in the face of abuse is to give your silent permission for that abuse to continue. Do you honestly think you’re helping by condoning the sort of hateful behavior your LGBT friends face each and every day? Speaking from experience, it is extremely difficult to reconcile having a friend who doesn’t care enough to stand up for you when it counts.

I would encourage those of you who would like to be better friends and better people to speak up when you hear abuse, stand up for those you care about, and strive to make the world a place your children will be proud to live in.

frosty-butt:

caseyvastardis:

beinggayisokay:

brookemturner:

madelinegonzalez:

imageimageimage

Art and text by Madeline Gonzalez.

Can this be made into a children’s book so I can buy it for my future children?

I second this^^

yup

so beautiful!

FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT’S HOLY, TAKE MY MONEY!!!

So true… Some of this is true for the entire LGBT community, but all of it is incredibly important. Let’s all be supportive of one another. <3

So true… Some of this is true for the entire LGBT community, but all of it is incredibly important. Let’s all be supportive of one another. <3

upworthy:


lady88:
It still shocks (and mostly just disappoints) me how SHOCKED people are when I tell them that it is 100% legal to be fired simply for being gay.
They look at me like I’m lying and say things like “nooooo, that can’t be right?”.
I have been fired twice (in Ohio) for being openly gay.
I have been asked:
to not wear my wedding ring
Not acknowledge my wife’s existence
To “just say you have a husband”
To just not answer “yes” when people ask if I’m married because “you’re not REALLY married”
To not bring my wife to the company FAMILY Christmas party
Let people just assume we’re sisters
Just make it easier on everyone and “just say you’re divorced”
These were not requests made from some Mom and Pop shop, I was a corporate executive for a large chain of high volume restaurants. My boss was the Director of Human Resources, and she would walk into my office and say the most ignorant things you can imagine.
People in America need to be educated on the reality that is life as a gay person in  this country.
It’s not all gay pride parades and appletinis. 
We need a leg to stand on.
We need people to wake up and educate themselves on the rights we are denied.
We need people…gay, straight, and in between, to open their eyes, stop ignoring what doesn’t directly effect them, and educate themselves.

Absolutely.

upworthy:

lady88:

It still shocks (and mostly just disappoints) me how SHOCKED people are when I tell them that it is 100% legal to be fired simply for being gay.

They look at me like I’m lying and say things like “nooooo, that can’t be right?”.

I have been fired twice (in Ohio) for being openly gay.

I have been asked:

  • to not wear my wedding ring
  • Not acknowledge my wife’s existence
  • To “just say you have a husband”
  • To just not answer “yes” when people ask if I’m married because “you’re not REALLY married”
  • To not bring my wife to the company FAMILY Christmas party
  • Let people just assume we’re sisters
  • Just make it easier on everyone and “just say you’re divorced”

These were not requests made from some Mom and Pop shop, I was a corporate executive for a large chain of high volume restaurants. My boss was the Director of Human Resources, and she would walk into my office and say the most ignorant things you can imagine.

People in America need to be educated on the reality that is life as a gay person in  this country.

It’s not all gay pride parades and appletinis. 

We need a leg to stand on.

We need people to wake up and educate themselves on the rights we are denied.

We need people…gay, straight, and in between, to open their eyes, stop ignoring what doesn’t directly effect them, and educate themselves.

Absolutely.

Pretty sure it’s Sims time.

Maybe it should be homework time, or cleaning time, or even “eat something that doesn’t come from Bennigan’s” time, but no.

It’s Sims time.

Sims are not people. They’re better than people. They listen to what I tell them and do it the first time, without question, and their lives are better for it. Oh, wise Sims, do you know how your creator agonizes over your every detail? You must, because you seem to know that I only want to make your lives better.

Except for when I want to kill you, and even then you follow my every order. I love you so much more than human beings.

fagology:

word

Truth, motherfuckers.